You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish: Humor for Lexiphiles (Lovers of Words)

• You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish. 
• I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. 
• Police were called to a day care where a 3-yr-old was resisting a rest. 
• Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?  He's all right now. 
• The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. 
• To write with a broken pencil is pointless. 
• When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate. 
• The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. 
• A thief who stole a calendar got 12  months. 
• A thief fell & broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal. 
• When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U.C.L.A. 
• The dead batteries were given out free of charge. 
• A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail. 
• A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired. 
• A will is a dead giveaway. 
• Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. 
• A backward poet writes inverse. 
• In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes. 
• A chicken crossing the road, poultry in motion. 
• If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed. 
• Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft & I'll show you A-flat miner. 
• The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered. 
• A grenade that fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart. 
• You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it. 
• A calendar's days are numbered. 
• A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine. 
• A boiled egg is hard to beat. 
• He had a photographic memory which was never developed. 
• Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end. 
• When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall. 
• When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye. 
• Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis. 
• Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses. 
• Acupuncture: A jab well done.
• The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
• To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
• When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
• A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
• We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
• If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
• Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
• He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
• A plateau is a high form of flattery.
• If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
  

(Here's one I wrote especially for this post ©2010 Razor Creative:)

• She couldn't see the mirror to shave, so I tried to Razor